Day 22 ish

I want to write a comprehensive journal entry but I find my energy has left me. I'm attending those meetings and I have a sponsor who seems to be awesome. She requested I write out my whole life of drinking, and that really opened my eyes to the fact I was trying really hard to capture the 'golden years' when it was fun, but it ceased to be fun a long time ago. It really underlined what it is I am doing and why.  

I hope to get into the deeper parts of not drinking and update on my recent comedy trip, but I shall do it later. 

Good night, and I hope you find the peace you seek. 

Day 8! YAY ME!

I know, to people who are 'normal' drinkers or non drinkers, it seems like 8 days without alcohol is a normal thing. It seems like much longer to me, and I think it's because I've been living normally. Not holing myself up in my house, using my white knuckles to find an excuse to drink. I did a show last night really really sober and you know what? It rocked. My set was pretty good, I did new stuff. I started differently than I normally do and I got laughs with it. But you know what rocked most? That I was sober. That I didn't have that warm blanket of not-give-a-fuck. Because that blanket makes me feel like a loser asshole. It's not a fun 'who gives a fuck let's party down', it's a sad 'what's the use?'.  I left the venue feeling really great.